bottom of the stairs
by swirling-summernotes
Summary: She sometimes wonders if it's weak to be sitting on the window seat, counting the stars, but in the end, all she ends up doing is hitting the bottom, again and again. -LucyTeddy


**notes: **written for the 'Song of the Day challenge, with the song 'Back to December' by Taylor Swift, and the prompts 'lipstick' 'choices' and 'entwine'. I only included the prompt 'choices' =)

-This is written for my amazing twinny, Kaye (what stars are) because she's just fantastic, and I love her so much. Even though we prefer DominiqueTeddy, I really felt this fic radiates Kaye, and I love her, so here you go!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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><p>(this is me standing here, swallowing my pride<br>saying i'm sorry for that night)  
>taylor swift, <em>Back to December<em>

Lucy wraps her arms around her knees, hugging them to her chest. Her cardigan is loose, due to the fact that it's Dominique's and much too big for her small frame. Aunt Ginny's old room is much more crowded than ever before, with all the girls sharing one space again, and Lucy breathes in the familiarity of it all, breathes back the memories of her childhood.

She rests her head on the top of knees, letting her curls cover her face, refusing to cry, ever the strong one, ever the independent.

A knock comes from the other side of the door, and the door opens. Lucy raises her head up to see who it is.

"Luce?" Lily stands in the doorframe, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. "Do you want to come down?"

Lucy stares hollowly at her young cousin, the girl that turns seventeen today. Her dark red hair is gathered to the side, and her hazel eyes are bright. Lucy feels bad she's missing her cousin's birthday. She's supposed to be the strong one, the one who's nine years older, and Gods, she's not the crying type. Slowly, she untangles herself from the window seat, leaving the stars littered behind her from the open curtain.

She loops her arm through Lily's, and shakily makes her way down the stairs, with each step closer to her destination.

One step, two step, three step.

And then she hits the bottom.

Lucy pulls back, but Lily drags her forward, leaving her no choice but to follow her into the backyard where the party is in full-swing. Lucy tugs her cutoffs lower, shivering as the night wraps itself around her. Forcing her hands deeper into the sleeves of Dominique's cardigan, she breathes in the honeysuckle perfume for comfort. Lily runs over to Lorcan, laughing, leaving Lucy to stand there.

Victoire walks up to her with a sad expression on her face, and draws Lucy in a hug. She wraps her arms tightly around her, rocking her back and forth, and it's all she can do to keep from crying. "Is he here?" Lucy breathes into her cousin's ear.

Victoire draws back and gives her a sad smile. Rubbing Lucy's arms with her hands, she nods. "Luce, I know he wasn't my Prince, but he can certainly be yours, right?"

Lucy sighs. "We've been through this, Tor, I don't want a Prince!"

Victoire's eyes are burning bright blue. "But you need one, Luce."

Shaking her head, Lucy crosses her arms. "No, Tor, I really don't."

The wind whips at their hair, and Victoire gives her a small smile. "Just be civil, then, okay?"

Lucy nods, hardly daring to look behind her to find the boy with the blue hair. "I'll try my best."

Victoire gives a small smile. "Good. Now, go enjoy yourself okay? You knew you'd have to be in the same room as him sometime or another." She walks off in her sundress, the picture of perfection.

Lucy sighs and makes her way to the tables, where Dominique, Fred and James are in one of their debates. She tunes them out, as she soundlessly drops into a chair. She watches Dominique swat at James, and as his argument grows more intense, her eyebrows knit together. Fred rolls his eyes as Dominique picks out her point, and James throws his hands up in the air.

For not the first time in her life, Lucy wishes for a friendship like theirs, the constant debating, the constant love. They get up from the table, pushing and shoving, but laughing. Lucy stays where she is, drawing patterns in the sugar that's sprinkled across the table, like the mourning girl she is. She hates it.

She wishes there were less of her family around, to show him that she was fine, and not a broken girl that actually needs someone. Her throat closes as she finally spots him across the yard, talking intently with Uncle Harry.

He hasn't changed.

Not a bit, since December, since six months previously. Same hair, same smile, same frame.

As though nothing ever changed, not one bit.

"_Teddy!" Lucy calls from the top of the stairs, laughing. "I could've done without roses by my bedside every morning, you know."_

_He grins as he looks up at her. "No, you couldn't have."_

Lucy leaves the present to go back to the past, when she fell in love, when she was happy.

When she got cold feet and ran.

No, no, romance wouldn't do for Lucy Weasley, with dreams of freedom.

Turns out freedom wasn't anything without Teddy.

Sooner or later, she realizes, she'll have to say something, have to talk to him. It's her fault, the reason for both their heartaches, she knows, though she was never one for admitting defeat. Clutching her cardigan closer, she realizes she admitted defeat the minute she became one of those girls who stare out into the night sky on a window sill.

_She scribbles the note fast, her hands shaking. Gathering her bags, she makes sure she has everything ready for her Apparation back to her own apartment. She lays the yellowing note on the pillow beside the roses, knowing Teddy waiting downstairs for her to come down._

_She almost turns back. Her feet carry her down the stairs, until she reaches the middle and stops herself. Summoning her bags, she Apparates with crack, never reaching the bottom of the stairs._

_Leaving the roses to die._

Lucy walks over to their conversation, Uncle Harry quietly stepping away as she approaches. She takes a breath, trying to control the butterflies as she draws nearer. Teddy sees her, and his eyebrows raise, his hair currently brown. He shoves his hands in his pockets and waits for her to approach.

Lucy stands beside him, and looks up at him, tall as ever. She draws in a shaky breath just to breathe it out, and her eyes lock onto his. Words form on her tongue, but it becomes stationary. Softly, shewhispers words into the sky.

'I'm sorry."

They stand in silence for awhile, letting her words sink in, letting them register. The words melted into the wind, but they still remain implanted in her mind.

After what feels like forever, he reaches over and takes her hand. They remain like that, absorbing their feelings and drinking in the presence of each other, underneath the inky sky.

Teddy traces his thumb over her hand. "Me too."

(i go back to December all the time)

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><p><strong>notes2: <strong>thank you so much for reading! Please leave a review, and no favourites without reviewing, please and thank you!

Thank you so much to Lyss (fabricated fantasies) for her amazing beta skills, great input, and for generally being awesome. Thanks for your work on this! :)


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